


If Only You Saw What I Can See

by cafephan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009!phan, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:05:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4535499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Dan and Phil’s first night together, but things haven’t exactly gone to plan. Until the morning after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only You Saw What I Can See

"I can’t believe I let you pay for dinner as well as lunch, I feel so bad” Dan mumbled as he waited for Phil to unlock the door, to which Phil shushed him and walked inside.

“I told you it was my treat, don’t worry about it” Phil assured the eighteen year old, who still didn’t seem convinced, lips pressed firmly into a fine line.

“At least let me pay you back for some of this” Dan gestured to the many shopping bags pooled at their feet, and Phil shook his head.

“My treat” he repeated with a shrug, and waltzed in the direction of the living room, leaving Dan stood alone in the hallway.

He looked around, still in disbelief he was actually in Phil’s house. Admittedly, the rest of the house bar Phil’s bedroom was rarely in a video, but in the odd action shot here and there Dan recognised the décor. He was living it. He was here.

“Are you alright, Dan?” Phil called from the living room, walking back over to stand in the doorway. He looked at Dan confusedly, and the brunet nodded and joined Phil in the living room. They accidentally brushed arms as they passed, and it made Dan blush furiously, and it made Phil smile slightly upon seeing Dan’s reaction.

“I was thinking we could watch a movie or two until we’re both tired?” Phil suggested, and Dan nodded before slowly making his way over to the sofa and perching on the end of it.

As Phil was putting on the DVD, he sighed to himself as he cast a quick glance to Dan beside him. Why was he so shy, still? Phil had done everything in his effort to make Dan feel welcome and at ease at his home and around him, but it seemed to have been all in vain. At first, it was adorable, how flustered he was when they first met at the train station, but it was over twelve hours later and little had changed. Phil was beginning to think it was him, that Dan just wasn’t comfortable around him.

And that broke him, quite a lot.

As the movie began to play, Phil sank lower into the sofa, getting comfier, and out of his peripheral vision saw Dan bring his knees up to his chest and wrap his arms around his legs. Why did he look so nervous?

“You know we’re watching a comedy, right?” Phil asked jokingly, catching Dan off-guard. He blushed again, untangled himself and nodded.

“Yeah, s-sorry” he stuttered, and turned his attention firmly back to the television screen, causing Phil to sigh again. He wasn’t at all irritated by Dan, no, he was more upset that despite his best efforts he just couldn’t seem to make Dan comfortable. It physically hurt Phil to see Dan in a constant state of shyness, when all he had seen over Skype for months on end was a bubbly, talkative bundle of energy.

Hours passed and the movie progressed, and gradually Dan’s eyes batted closed, and his heavy breathing became louder than the characters’ dialogue. It made Phil chuckle, and he switched the movie off and grabbed the sofa throw, gently placing it around Dan’s shoulders, shielding him from the harsh October chill whilst in his slumber. As he was looping the throw through Dan’s arms just to ensure it wouldn’t budge, the brunet flopped sideways and into Phil’s chest, and snuggled his head into the crook of Phil’s neck.

He definitely wasn’t complaining.

As Phil drifted off to sleep too, the hint of a smile never left his lips.

\--

Dan’s eyes snapped open for a reason he wasn’t entirely sure, but he felt completely refreshed, by far just waking up from one of the best nights’ sleep he’d had for over a year.

He detached the throw from around his shoulders and placed it on top of the sofa once he folded it, and stretched, his muscles simultaneously thanking him for the rest. Until his elbow made contact with something solid.

Dan’s blood ran cold, and he slowly turned his head around to where he had been sleeping, and he was first met with the checked shirt of blue and white. He began to shake as he lifted his gaze, seeing Phil’s sleeping form, a few silky strands of black hair covering his eyes.

‘ _Fuck!’_ Dan mouthed silently as he stood up from the sofa, careful not to wake Phil, and began pacing nervously around the living room, feeling too awkward to go into another room without Phil, he was only a guest.

“Okay so you just slept on the guy you’ve been crushing on for over a year, on only the first day you met, well fucking done” he whispered harshly to himself in amongst his pacing, and raked his hands through his hair again and again.

“I’ve invaded his privacy, he’s going to be so mad and he’s not going to talk to me and I’ve fucked everything up why did I fall asleep” he continued his harsh whispers as he paced, occasionally punching himself in the leg as punishment.

“I probably came across as rude as hell because I was too fucking awkward to say anything in fear of screwing everything up and now he’s just going to have another reason to hate me, the boy he invites to stay that just literally sleeps on him, why did I have to-“

“Good morning” a voice interrupted his whispers, and he flicked his gaze over to the sofa, where Phil was leaning on the top of the sofa, grinning widely.

“G-good morning” Dan replied, surprised he got away with a stutter and not a lump in his throat.

Phil was about to kick him out of his house and never talk to him again. He was grinning because he was obviously glad about it.

“Sleep well?” Phil enquired, and Dan nodded far too quickly, although he couldn’t stay too mad at himself because he had one of the best night’s sleep he’d had in ages, but he refused to admit it was because of where he was.

“Good,” Phil nodded to the kitchen door, “You can go get breakfast if you want to, you know. What’s mine is yours, this week”

Dan looked over to the kitchen, and gulped. At least Phil was considerate enough to let Dan have breakfast before kicking him out.

“Are you coming too?” he asked, and Phil shrugged, before getting off of the sofa.

“Sure, we’ll make something together” he smiled, and walked into the kitchen, Dan following suit. He made it a personal victory that he managed a sentence without stuttering.

Phil laid out a variety of ingredients on the worktop, and placed his hands down too.

“Right, we have enough to feed a large army. Take your choosing and make it a good one” he looked from Dan down to the ingredients then back again, to accentuate his point.

Dan couldn’t deny where his gaze first went to.

“P-pancakes?” he managed to get out, and Phil nodded, grinning again.

“Nice choice, I approve. I’ll get them started,” he replied, turning to focus his attention on the oven as he grabbed the pancake mix.

Phil didn’t seem at all angry, or holding a grudge. In fact, he seemed the opposite. Maybe Dan was overthinking the whole thing. He just didn’t want to jeopardise the friendship (or whatever they shared, they hadn’t labelled it thus far) he had with Phil, so he made himself be on tender hooks all the time.

“Are you coming to choose your toppings?” Phil called out a few minutes later as he was preparing to flip the first pancake. Dan silently walked over and perused the options he had for toppings. He selected the traditional orange juice and sugar, and put them to one side.

“Incoming” Phil sang as he slid a plate containing the first pancake down the countertop to where Dan stood, and he thanked Phil politely before putting on his toppings.

The process repeated a few more times (with role reversal so Phil could have his pancakes too) and easy conversation flowed over breakfast. It almost made Dan forget about why he was so on edge.

“So tell me,” Phil began as he placed his cutlery back down on his now empty plate, “what made you jump up from me so quickly this morning? I was warm and comfortable before you did”

Dan froze in place, and dropped his fork during his paralysis, causing an awfully clatter of steel against porcelain. Phil raised an eyebrow as he looked at Dan expectedly, but he just couldn’t deliver.

Until his panic set in and began speaking for him.

“Oh my god, Phil, I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. I know I was invading your privacy and I wish I was awake so I knew what I was doing,” he babbled, snapping out of his paralysis and jumping from the table and pacing towards the staircase.

“Do you want me to go? I’ll go. I’ll just go. I’ll get another ticket at the train station and I’ll be on the next train home, I’m so sorry” he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, but he was just sure that Phil didn’t yet know how sorry he was.

“Dan” Phil called after him, but Dan didn’t listen. He didn’t need Phil to ask him to leave, he was doing so himself.

“Dan” Phil’s voice was louder as he followed him, and Dan could make out a distinct undertone of amusement.

“I’m just sorry” he whispered, and dipped his head as Phil reached him, and wrapped his arms around Dan, in a tight hug.

“At least you’re talking to me now” he stated as he rubbed Dan’s back as the younger of the two sobbed into Phil’s chest.

“You don’t need to help me with my stuff, I’ll get it all” Dan mumbled, voice muffled due to their current positioning.

“I wouldn’t be hugging you if I wanted you to leave, would I? I quite enjoyed last night’s sleeping arrangements, if you must know” Phil spoke in a soothing tone, and continued to shush Dan softly until his sobs subsided.

“You don’t want me to go?” Dan asked for clarification once they separated, and wiped his eyes with his jumper sleeve, uncaring that his tears left a distinct streak on the material.

Phil shook his head rapidly, and gestured for Dan to follow him back into the living room.

They sat beside each other back on the sofa and Phil rested his head on his hand as his elbow angled itself on top of the sofa, and Dan thought the position was incredibly enticing, although he probably shouldn’t.

“Why did you think I wanted you to leave?” Phil implored, and Dan dipped his head again, focusing his attention on pulling bobbles off of his jumper.

“Because I invaded your privacy, it wasn’t right of me” Dan replied, still unsure of where Phil stood on the whole thing.

“How, exactly?” Phil asked, and placed his thumb under Dan’s chin to gently tilt it up, so they made eye contact. Dan blushed at the skin to skin contact, everything set him off.

“I don’t know, it’s just wrong to sleep against someone you’ve only just met” Dan explained, and Phil threw his head back in laughter, leaving Dan confused. Where was Phil going with this?

“Dan, you do realise that babies sleep on their mothers’ chests, and pets sleep on their owners’ laps all the time? It’s literally the furthest from an invasion of privacy” Phil felt a lot better when he saw a smile grow on Dan’s lips, and he hit Phil’s knee playfully.

“Okay, maybe I overreacted” he admitted, wiping his eyes a final time and letting out a little giggle.

“Now we’re over that can I ask why you were really…”

“Being a dick? Ignorant asshole?” Dan completed Phil’s question, and Phil shook his head, he was thinking of a very watered down, more polite alternative.

“I was thinking more along the lines of shy and seeming like you didn’t want to be here” Phil corrected, and Dan’s eyes widened.

“It came across like I didn’t want to be here?” he asked, and Phil shrugged again, feeling slightly vulnerable. The tables had turned in mere minutes.

“Phil, being here with you is literally a dream. The reason I was like I was is because I didn’t want to say anything to screw things up, so I guess I thought the best way to make sure that didn’t happen was to say practically nothing. I know that was wrong and I’m sorry” he gushed, and leaned over to envelope Phil in a tight hug, which he graciously accepted.

“I thought you were really uncomfortable around me, I didn’t know what to do” Phil sighed in relief, and Dan facepalmed himself and apologised again, stating that he handled the situation the wrong way.

Things were back on track.

After a few hours of easy conversation, gaming marathons and more food, they were back in the same position, only now cross-legged facing each other.

Phil wasn’t afraid to admit he dropped the odd flirtatious comment here and there, and he wouldn’t be crazy in thinking that Dan was liking them. He had played enough of The Sims to know how many flirtations were too many, so stopped himself and went back to friendly topics before trying again.

Now it seemed to be working in his favour.

“How did people manage to do this?” Phil huffed in annoyance as he looked down at the cat’s cradle that was tangled up in his fingers, and Dan giggled as he attempted to help. When it seemed like a lost cause, Dan untangled Phil and dropped the material onto the coffee table, but Phil distinctly noticed that Dan kept his free hand on Phil’s knee.

When Dan noticed this he recoiled it and blushed again, but cleared his throat as if preparing for a big question.

“Phil?” he asked, not lifting his gaze from his lap.

“Yeah?” Phil replied, thoroughly intrigued where the conversation would lead.

“Why did you pick me to start talking to and not one of the other fans that tweet you all the time?” Dan enquired, still not making eye contact.

Phil smiled fondly. “Because you’re the only one that meant it, that didn’t want something out of it, like a follow or a shoutout or whatever. You were genuine, and you’ve never been anything but, still to this very day”

“Thankyou” Dan replied quietly, but Phil couldn’t help but notice the small smile that had again appeared on Dan’s lips, accompanied by the seemingly everpresent red tinted cheeks.

“Plus the fact that you’re beautiful doesn’t exactly hurt” Phil added truthfully, and took pleasure in the fact that his comment made Dan’s cheeks appear as if on fire he was blushing so much.

“I’m definitely not beautiful” Dan mumbled, head dropping lower.

“Hey,” Phil spoke softly, taking one of Dan’s hands gently in his own, causing him to look up and into Phil’s eyes, wondering what was going on, “you’re so beautiful. I could go on and on about the reasons why, but to me, I’ll admit it right now, you’re pretty much my idea of perfection”

Tears were brimming in Dan’s eyes, and all Phil could do until he replied was rub his thumb over Dan’s hand to prove his sincerity, and quietly celebrate the fact that Dan hadn’t retracted his hand.

“I’ve been saying that about you for so long” Dan revealed, letting out a shaky laugh as a few rogue tears fell down his cheeks that Phil was quick to wipe away with his free hand.

He smiled as Dan moved into his touch, which had now turned to stroking his cheek.

Not wanting to take things too fast, Phil slowly brought the hand that was caressing Dan’s cheek back down to his lap, and remained the eye contact.

They remained in a pleasant silence as Dan focussed on stopping his quiet sobs, and Phil continued stroking Dan’s hand with his thumb as a sign of comfort.

“Phil?” Dan asked again, voice not as shaky as before but still with a hint of vulnerability.

“What was it you said before, when you were talking about breakfast?” Dan enquired after Phil had acknowledged him, and Phil had to cast his mind back to the conversation in question, and he could only recall one sentence which would be out of the ordinary.

“What’s mine is yours, this week” he repeated his past self, and Dan took a deep breath, for a reason Phil couldn’t understand.

“I’d quite like your lips” Dan stated, and Phil felt his eyes widen at the statement, and that’s when Dan made eye contact after lifting his gaze from his lap, biting his bottom lip.

Despite every instinct telling Phil to go for it, as this is all he’s wanted since about the third week that he and Dan had started speaking, his rational side rang true and spoke above the rest.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this, consent is important, even in kissing” Phil wanted utter clarification that this is what Dan wanted, the absolute last thing he wanted was for him to be uncomfortable, like Phil thought he was last night. He couldn’t bear the thought of being the cause of Dan’s discomfort or upset.

“You’ve completely ruined the ambience that I’d set us up for, but yes, I’m utterly, completely sure that I want to kiss you, or you to kiss me, one of the two” Dan was sure to emphasise the fact he was sure, and that was all Phil needed before finally allowing himself to lean forward and cup Dan’s face before kissing him, soft, sweet and slow, just to allow them both to get used to each other.

Surprisingly, it was Dan that took things a step further, as when Phil pulled away a little for breath, Dan pulled him by his collar back down to his level and wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck so he was pulled down, and so that Dan was laying down on the sofa.

_You’re making out with him!,_ Phil’s consciousness chimed in a few minutes later, clearing up what Phil was unsure of.

The kisses were deeply passionate and hungry, and it devastated both of them when they had to pull apart for breath and both sat back up, straightening out their clothes.

“I’m sorry, you just have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that” Dan explained, scratching the back of his neck and let out a nervous laugh.

“I’m not sorry” Phil shrugged before leaning in for another swift kiss, which made Dan giggle.

“I still think you’re lying. About the beautiful thing” Dan brought the topic up randomly a few minutes later, and Phil rolled his eyes playfully before a risky response popped into his mind.

“How about you give me one night, tonight, to convince you otherwise. One night to let me make you feel beautiful” he questioned his wording as soon as he delivered the sentence, but as he couldn’t cram the words back in his mouth, he simply bit his lip and awaited Dan’s response.

It came in the form of a doey-chestnut-wide-eyed stare, with dilated pupils.

“W-what?” Dan asked, and Phil mentally kicked himself. He could only hope that Dan wasn’t returning to his recluse state from last night, but judging by the way he was licking his lips he was sure that wasn’t the case.

“You know, if you’d want that” Phil nearly choked on his words, and dipped his head to look at his interlocked hands, until they were split apart and one was hastily taken in one of Dan’s.

“Okay, first off, this is what I want so don’t question me, and secondly, the only part of that which makes me anything less than the most excited and willing I’ve been in my life is the part where you said tonight” he gripped Phil’s hand tightly and flicked his gaze (anything but subtly)  to the ceiling – the living room was directly below Phil’s bedroom – and back again.

“Oh” was all Phil could say in response, next to flabbergasted at the confidence boost that Dan had gotten from somewhere. Not that he cared all that much, as what was coming next was all he could focus on.

They stood up from the sofa synchronously and Dan looked up at Phil with excited, gleaming eyes and a wide grin.

“I’m so glad you’re here” Phil whispered as he leaned in for a sweet kiss, which Dan returned for a few seconds before pulling away smiling, but again, in the epitome of subtlety, tugged on Phil’s hand and flicked his gaze to the ceiling and back.

“After you” Phil gestured to the doorway leading to the staircase and Dan grinned wider as he lead Phil in that direction, and kissed him quickly as he stood on the third step whilst Phil was on the first step.

“Consider this foreshadowing for the future, I’m going to tower over you” Dan spoke confidently and Phil rolled his eyes before simply walking past Dan and pulling him along behind him, not ignoring the squeak of excitement that the sight of his bedroom elicited from the boy.

“You really are just a little fan deep down, aren’t you” Phil teased, and Dan blushed.

“Shut up, I’m just excited. About what’s to come” he was careful not to stutter on his words and broke his hand from Phil’s, and strutted into the bedroom confidently, leaving a smirking Phil in his wake.

Phil took a deep breath, just to confirm that what was about to happen was actually about to happen, that it was all real. That Dan was real and that they had kissed. That they had kissed and were about to embark upon who knows what.

“Earth to Lester, I kind of want you in here” Dan’s voice chirped, and there stood the boy in front of him, in noticeably less layers of clothes. When Phil couldn’t respond due to his eyes involuntarily looking him up and down, Dan smirked and pulled Phil into the room by his shirt collar, pushing the door firmly shut behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t ask me what this is okay I wrote it at 3am and wanted more 2009 to my name so have this sad attempt at it 
> 
> Also it's barely edited at all sorry 
> 
> Plus don’t ask me what this ending is because I don’t even know
> 
> Tumblr; cafephan.tumblr.com  
> Twitter; HoppipHowell


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